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But I didn't finish because I didn't want to hurt her. But I knew I could cum. It was many years after that, until I had sex again. And it just wasn't like it was when I first had sex, when I had sex with someone I cared about. Though I thought I could really care about this person. The sad thing is that this outlook on love and sex is feminine in itself. The masculine sexuality is objectifying in itself. And the paradox to this is equal in my alternative view of my gender. Isn't fetishizing wearing womans clothes materialistic? I feel like our view point on how a woman should dress is a fetish itself. A woman wears no hair on her body, bright colorful clothing and underwear to feel sexy. It is tight fitting to shape her body. And her face is painted to cover up flaws and accentuate her natural beauty. She grows up to know the clothing and the make up as being the fit for a woman. But idk how necessary it all is. As a man I like to wear loose fitting clothing, clothing I can move. I went home smiling, something I hadn't done a whole lot of in the past few months. Over the next days and weeks, we called, texted, emailed, and hung out together quite often. She came over and helped me to decorate my place. It definitely needed a woman's touch, that's for sure. A few weeks later, I asked if she'd like to go out to dinner with me, which she accepted, and while at dinner I asked her if she'd like to be my girlfriend, she laughed and said, “I thought you'd never ask, of course, I will.” I had been developing strong feelings for her, and unbeknownst to me, she had been developing strong feelings for me as well. The next few months went by so fast, but when we weren't working, we were spending time together. I was either at her place, or she was at mine, or we were out together. One Saturday while we were out together, she got a phone call from a friend of hers, her friend had recently gotten engaged and asked her to be a bridesmaid in the wedding, to which Lisa.
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