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My mom made me wait outside and I was more distraught at being left alone. A nurse tried to console me, but it took two orderlies to restrain me when I rushed for the door to see my sister.I found out later that her body had been mangled and broken. I suppose I'm glad not to have seen my beautiful sister that way. But in those days and weeks which followed, I couldn't help feeling a distinct loss at not saying goodbye, and I blamed myself for being the one to talk Jackie into trying to visit that weekend. It had been my pleading, my selfish need to see her again, which had led her to beg favors of her friends, finally getting a ride home to be with me.I cried with my head on my arms on the dining room table. I was aware that Kira stood next to me, holding my shoulders, softly stroking my arms. "Oh, Mom ... I'm sorry..."I had compartmentalized my memories of Jackie. It wasn't that I planned it. Thoughts of my sister were torn from me, everything about Jackie which reminded me of her. Curiously, Jahn asked. ‘We don’t have an umbrella. Why not the hotel pool? More shade, you’re less likely to burn.’ ‘Nudity is not an option at Playana del Sol. Besides…,’ Jen gave a throaty, borderline obscene laugh and reached below the seat, withdrawing a moment later to show off an industrial-sized bottle of suntan lotion. Hadn’t even noticed that, but it explained why she hadn’t had any complaints over the last few days. ‘… guess who’s getting a rubdown?’ ‘Certainly can’t argue with that,’ he said, smiling and envisioning the task already. ‘Glad you agree!’ Jen piped cheerily as she got out of the car to remove her bikini. Pointedly, she added, ‘Of course, only _nude_ people are allowed to participate in the rubdown. I would _so_ hate to have to do it myself.’ He eyed her as he got out of the car. ‘You are a manipulative little wench, Jenny Reed.’ ‘Yes, Jahn Halvers. I certainly am. What’s it gonna be?’ she asked mockingly, as she picked up the cooler and her carryall. ‘Going.
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