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You see yourself as a sissy; a faggot!You run from the bar through the street still crowded with vanilla partygoers. You are overcome with self-consciousness; your face and your clothes still visibly coverd in a mans cum; you, an obvious man in womens clothing; your own cum starting to dribble from your crotch down you stockinged legs. You run as fast as you can in your heels to your car and drive homes quickly as you can.You lie awake all night thinking about it; trying to rationalise what happened. You convince yourself that your feeling of revulsion confirms that you are not gay. Maybe this event will help you stop the crossdressing. For a few weeks after, you resist your stash of women’s clothing. You tell yourself that you’ve shaken the habit.Then, one night alone at home, you feel bored. A little frisky! Just like one drink can’t do any harm with an alcoholic, just dressing one more time to relieve the loneliness; the sexual tension built up over a few weeks of abstinence; and. But then I thought about why I hated her, then I thought about Jim. How I felt around him, how I wanted to be like him. I got a semi real quick. I was shocked, this is my friend, I thought, what the fuck is happening to me. I was kind of excited though, I thought about how muscular Jim was and how he could fight anyone off. Then I knew that nothing could ever happen between us. He was straight as a needle. I got up and saw that it was midnight. It was Friday though, so I could sleep in. I went to my computer and I search –penis-. I wanted to imagine what Jim’s looked like.I saw so many, then I searched –gay-. I got a lot of results. I started getting really hard when watching videos of teen boys fucking each other. Oh my God it was great. I comed in minutes. I imagined Jim doing something like that to me. Then I went to sleep.I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. No one was home so I got up and picked up. It was Julie, she started bitching about how she suspected me and Jim.
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