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It was the same panting shit. I slightly muffled the mouthpiece with my hand, then whispered loud enough for all three of us to hear, "Officer, have you got the trace going?" I hung up last.I received a standing ovation, even if it was the applause of one. I returned to find the table laden with my victory feast. There was enough food for a small party. Quickly the truth shone through that neither of us had much of an appetite. I picked up my spoon and ate most of my bowl of soup because it tasted as good as it had smelled. Ellen used her spoon as a prop, stirring her soup until it had gone cold. She nibbled about half her sandwich, while I consumed less of mine. The meal was thoroughly awkward. We were mostly silent. The few attempts at conversation fizzled. It was like being on a first date, only far worse. It was like being on your very first first date. Every now and again Ellen would look up from her lap and toss me a brilliant smile.I was so relieved, I caught the phone on the. ”“Hah, they all fall in love, maybe not with me, but they fall in love with my cock.”“Oh yeah.”“Yeah all eleven and a half inches.”“Eleven and a half, eh, that half inch must be really important.”Missing my sarcasm, he answers smugly, “Hell yeah.”“You want another drink?”“Yeah, thanks bud, what’s your name.”“Dave ... yours?”“Calvin, I work as a consultant, I get called in to look at peoples businesses, find out the problem and tell them how to solve it.” He boasts after his introduction.I summon the barman with a wave, when he approaches I tell him the same again, gesturing it is for my companion and myself.As the drinks are poured, my new friend asks, “So what is it you do?”Holding out a twenty for the barman to take I look at the man thoughtfully before answering. “Well ... I’m not sure what I do has an exact title, but like you it has much to do with preventing people’s problems from continuing.”“Sounds intriguing, does it pay well?”“It keeps the wolves at bay.” I agree.“Come on.
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